#straightfromcait: Afraid that the only way you'll get a break is if you die or disappear?
Updated: Mar 19
You're not alone.
Hi Fried Fans,
We’re taking it real serious today and I’m starting with a TRIGGER WARNING - we will be discussing suicidal ideations today. If you are sensitive to this topic, I suggest skipping this episode. **If you are having suicidal ideations, I highly recommend that you reach out to the suicidepreventionhotline.org - this is applicable no matter where you are in the world.**
And after I wrote that intro piece, I avoided writing the next part. I checked facebook, replied to an email from a coaching client, scrolled through Instagram because even though I know we NEED to talk about this, it’s a little bit big and scary.
If you’ve been listening to FRIED for awhile, you already know that there aren’t many conversations that I shy away from. I am big fan of leaning into difficult conversations - it’s part of what makes me a good coach and part of what gets the good juice out of interviewees.
The conversation gets even more interesting if you’ve already read The Bouncebackability Factor because I write about suicidal ideations in the book - so the information is out there and the feedback I’m getting from it tells me that you thought you were alone in these thought patterns, that you were the only one who thought like this, and you’re grateful to know that you’re not.
When my first coaching client mentioned that she had been dreaming of getting into a car accident just to get a break from life, I wasn’t shocked. I was relieved at her honesty. When a podcast guest said she seriously considered veering off the road into a tree - just to break a leg and be able to spend some time in the hospital, I felt the truth of her statement in my gut. When over and over again my highly accomplished successful female entrepreneur clients tell me that they wish they could escape, I know that we’re about to make a breakthrough.
When Dr. Valerie Rein shared so openly on her podcast episode and in her book, Patriarchy Stress Disorder, about landing in the hospital and being relieved that
“There were no demands on me. Except to lay there and breathe. I was guilt-free; possibly for the first time as a mother, wife and professional. A stroke scare quailed at me for a hall pass. Surrounded by the soft meditative beeping of the machines, I began to relax and enjoy my spa day in a hospital gown” Valerie Rein
My spa day in a hospital gown. That is what burnout is leading us to desire. This is the kind of desperation we are talking about. That moment where you think, “Maybe I’ll just walk into traffic”, or you’re jealous that your friend is sick and in the hospital - even though you won’t ACTUALLY do these things and you don’t REALLY want to be sick, you fantasize about them because they seem like the only way out.
I’m here today to tell you that they aren’t the only way out. I recently wrapped up with a coaching client who said,
“When I found Cait, I was looking for a new everything: job, relationship, self, life. A way out of the life I was living. I knew what I was doing wasn't working, but didn't know what else to do and was ready to scratch it all and start over (whatever that meant!). I had read the books and blogs, gone to therapy, listened to all kinds of "expert" advice, but it didn't stick, and I was still stuck. I was skeptical at first. I have been to traditional therapists for years, and had read all a ton of self-help work, but always hit the same wall and decided the alternative route of a coach might be a better fit. I ended my work with Cait feeling more centered, more in control (but not controlling!) and more confident in my ability to create, modify, and maintain boundaries that serve me.” ~ Lauren
Shifting out of this place where change feels impossible without a major disaster (I mean, haven’t we had enough of that already this year?) is possible, and I’m here to help you do it.
This month, I’m asking 3 women who need this work to seize the moment and start the change. 2021 is around the corner, and I want you to start it feeling more in control, more like yourself, and less like driving off a road, just for a break.
If this is you, don’t hesitate any longer. This year was shitty enough without bonuses, it’s time to take the reins back. You can book your free consult at bit.ly/callcait.
I can’t wait to create space for your story, your truth, your shift, and your healing.
Talk soon, real soon.