No one likes to feel guilty. Most often people will choose resentment over guilt, because it feels easier to blame someone else than it does to process their guilt. Resentment takes a large toll on relationships and overall mental health and can worsen burnout. In today’s #straightfromcait episode, Cait explains how to skip over the resentment stage and instead process your guilt in order to be better protected from burnout long term.
Resentment occurs when you do an action you don’t agree with in an attempt to prevent guilt. By choosing guilt over resentment, you can avoid a lot of extra stressors. Guilt occurs when you choose to do an action that goes against your internalized morality. However, often what we think of as our morals are not actually entirely our own. They are influenced by what we have been taught, by our culture, our family, our education and experiences and may not reflect what we actually believe in our hearts to be true. In order to process your guilt, you’ll need to examine your morals and really think about which ones you still align with. Write down the action that has caused you guilt, examine whether or not it is actually immoral to you, and explore why you feel that way. Then give yourself the grace in that moment to realize that you are still a good person regardless of your findings and that you don’t always need to feel guilty for choosing yourself over your preconceived morals.
Tune into this week’s #straightfromcait episode for a conversation about resentment and guilt. Learn why it is better to choose guilt over resentment and how to properly process guilt when you experience it.
“The more you are able to shift away from actions that breed resentment, the better your relationships will be, the less burned out you'll be and the more space you'll have to be generous in whatever way suits you best. So I want you to avoid choosing resentment when you can, because it will help protect you from burnout long term. But if you're like most people, you choose resentment, because feeling guilty feels like too much to bear.” (2:13-2:40 | Cait)
“If you know that you're going to end up resentful over doing this thing, skip right over it, go straight for the guilt, and process the guilt.” (5:32-5:39 | Cait)
“My goodness is inherent and I love to give with gusto when my physical, mental and emotional energy allows. I also love to grant myself the permission to refuel when that is the thing that I need.” (11:38-11:55 | Cait)
“I want you to understand that the fact that something is sacrificial for you doesn't automatically make it morally good.” (13:01-13:12 | Cait)
Mancini, A., Granziol, U., Migliorati, D., Gragnani, A., Femia, G., Cosentino, T., . . . Mancini, F. (2022). Moral orientation guilt scale (MOGS): Development and validation of a novel guilt measurement. Personality and Individual Differences, 189, 1. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2021.111495
If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait